We’re not a couple but we’re
coupled aren’t we? Like vodka
and orange; like spring and hope.
You make generalizations and
mean not to include me as if
there is everyone and then there’s
us; like I’m the voice in your head
and not a real living person on
the phone. I don’t even think you
notice - I got offended the first
time you said you weren’t close
to anyone until I realized I’m not
just anyone to you. The reason
I’m bringing this up is that I think
you’ve forgotten about my
realness and the freedom I have
to walk away and the fact that I
don’t. You think you’re too boring
or too sad or not enough of
something for someone worthwhile
to want to be with you. Well poor,
poor me for being forced to talk
to you every night. You are a giant
fool if you think I hang around for
any other reason than because I
like who you are. Baby, you’ve got
things I can’t find anywhere else
and it’s not like I haven’t looked.
You are equal parts ridiculous and
precious (but I shouldn’t start
listing the things that you are or
we’ll be here all night). The reason
you’re single is because right now
it’s time for you to be single. That’s
it. If you weren’t worth being with I
wouldn’t be with you either.
I fell asleep with my makeup on and woke up looking like the Winter Soldier.
Then, one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…you give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.
I woke up in the morning and I didn’t want anything, didn’t do anything,
couldn’t do it anyway,
just lay there listening to the blood rush through me and it never made any sense, anything.
And I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t sit still or fix things and I wake up and I wake up and you’re still dead.